Unlike nearly everything else I’ve written, this post would have been easier to write when I was a kid.
I was a child of obsessions. Unfortunately, none of my obsessions turned out to be very useful in adulthood. I could have hyper-fixated on physics or chemistry or higher math, but no. Instead, I lost myself in comic books, television, and mystery novels, over time progressing from Encyclopedia Brown to the Hardy Boys to Agatha Christie.
I don’t have those kind of obsessive interests any more. I’m not going to regale you with trivia about early 20th century jazz or the minutiae of post-modernist theater or the New York School of artists and writers.
When I spoke of writing what you know, I described myself as a jack of some things, master of none, and that’s a fair assessment of my mindset when it comes to obsessions and fascinations. I have a lot of individual interests, but I tend to delve into them to the extent I needed them for a specific purpose. I might be a more interesting character if I cultivated a serious geekdom around something I enjoy – mid-century confessional poetry, Grand Guignol theater, 80s independent film – but on the other hand, at this stage of my life, whom would I entertain with my repertoire?
My geekdom
I do have interests. I am drawn to specific types of characters and stories in film, television, and books, and am repelled by others. I have tastes. I’m not a Philistine, even if some of my tastes are lower brow.
If I were to emulate someone like Howard Chaykin, who combined his interests in jazz, sex, politics, demons, and zombies in his masterful Time2, what niche interests would I pick?
If I were writing the most indulgent work imaginable, it would likely feature some combination of tough women and mean gays, secret societies, kid gangs and chosen families, political intrigue, fringe religions, the Kennedy curse, comic books, early 20th century European literature, ghosts, Nazis, writers and artists, theater and film, time travel, talking apex predators, conspiracy theories, Celtic mythology, alternate worlds, and doppelgangers.
Probably not all in the same novel, but that would be pretty cool now that I think about it.
My themes
That said, I do have ideas and questions that I explore repeatedly, even when I’m not aware that’s where I’m headed. My characters ask questions like:
- Who am I?
- Where do I belong?
- How do I choose between belonging and being myself?
- When do I start getting it right?
- Who do I trust?
- What hill will I die on?
Even if I didn’t want it to, my indulgent novel would inevitably explore themes of identity, purpose, individuality and authenticity, spirituality, alienation, belonging, and sacrifice, wrapped up with more questions than answers. There’d be awkward sex, moral codes, casual violence, vengeance, loss, family secrets, love’s cruelty, passion for creation, and resistance and dignity in the face of life’s absurdity.
It would definitely mash up genres (SF, fantasy, horror, true crime, murder mystery, superhero, alternative history) and if I could work in an Excel spreadsheet, ice cream, and a dinosaur, I’d be in Heaven.