everything is terrible

I did not get the job, despite the encouraging 60-minute interview. Ah well. That’s why you interview when you’re happy.

Almost four years successfully dodging COVID-19, and now I have the crud. Mild case (so far), but need to rest. Back soon!

If you want to ride in a deathtrap but are afraid of the water, I have a 20-year old Jeep with a recall I’ve been ignoring. I’ll take you wherever you want to go for only $25,000 per seat. You may not see the wreck of the Titanic, but you can roll down a window for air anytime you want.

Inquire within.

By all accounts, San Francisco’s downtown retail environment is in full collapse. Last week, the Westfield San Francisco Centre announced its immediate closure, just weeks after Nordstrom said it would leave the city center. They weren’t the first major outlets to abandon the city, and there have been more since, including GAP, Old Navy, and AT&T.

So what to do with all that empty space? Will other retailers want to take over a spot that’s lost a third of its business? Will the mall become a homeless squat?

I have a better idea.

YouTube buys the mall and converts the stores into high-end hybrid studio/apartments to rent out to vloggers and influencers. They broadcast live from their apartments and people can watch them during the mall’s operating hours. Instead of shopping or engaging in any activity, the public can simply mill about and stare. Boom! Tourism! Keep the glass storefronts so influencers can live their entire lives on display. Boom! Happy attention whores! The audience can tip with credits for the food court. Boom! High cholesterol, fat, and sodium!

I think this one has merit.